


Jealousy

by AnjuHime



Series: Bittersweet [1]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5977758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnjuHime/pseuds/AnjuHime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He could feel it like accid on his veins and somehow it was almost like it was getting colder these days even though the string was just around the corner. The annoying voice wouldn't stop nagging him and screaming how it was his own fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> I stayed up talking with my gf about how Hansol and Mikey looked so close now and bffs and how he and Byungjoo just... well... they don't look as close as they did before. I was a little annoyed and just finished writing this. (I hope it isn't full of typos all... yeah... )

The wall against the naked skin of his back was harsh, marking it in red stripes. It would surely mark him for some time, but nothing he couldn’t hide with a shirt or another hideous outfit.

Not like it mattered to him.

It didn’t. Not now, not when he could feel those sweet kisses and warm breath against his neck, making him shiver in want and pleasure. But he couldn’t have it. It was forbidden.

That’s what they said, what everyone said, but it never stopped him.

“Please…” it came in a whisper. He was so close, he wanted more. Those almost-not-there kisses on his neck were not nearly enough. He needed more and - rules be damned -, he really wanted it, more than ever before, and he didn’t want to stop this time.

More pleas left his mouth, but the one pressing him against the wall just didn’t care. It was frustrating, annoying, and he was getting flustered and oh so turned on. The other one smirked, just waiting and not moving an inch, mouth against his neck, so so close but not really touching - not as he liked wanted.

He was reaching his breaking point, too horny to think straight. Getting bullied or laughed at by the others didn’t matter if he could just get… more.

“Please, please… Just… Just kiss me!” He kept chanting, trying to get the kiss he wanted, to make the other one react. But he couldn’t move much. Even though it didn’t look like, the other one was still stronger - no matter how much time he worked out, he couldn’t understand how that still happened, how he still managed to find himself under him, blushing until the tips of his ears and wriggling around for a damn kiss from the tease above him. It wasn’t fair.

He could hear the other laugh in that high pitched voice he had, such a strange laugh, as always. But he could only get more frustrated by it, moving his head to kiss him but without much luck. The other stepped back, teasing him with a smirk on his cat-like lips and pressed more against him, holding his arms above his head in a tight grip.

“Are you sure you want it? You’re always so cute when you’re like this, begging for my attention~”

If he wasn’t flustered enough before, he surely was now, redness spreading like a plague from his cheeks to his chest while he tried to free himself again and drive in for a kiss.

“Damn it! Stop teasing! You did that enough! J-just please…”

He could feel all that was left of his proud self just go away as he watched the other laugh again, this time lower, in a way he liked way too much. It just sent shivers down his back, making his toes curl in pleasure and his mind cloud while thinking about all the promises behind that laugh and smile… Oh how he wanted to be bolder, to just say everything he wanted and kiss the other, take control and make him bend, kiss, moan, scream… But those were all fantasies because he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t like that, he was like a caged bird with his wings cut at the birth. He couldn’t be like the other one… maybe that was why he admired him so much, one of the reasons for why he had fallen for him.

“I can’t deny you when you’re like this…  Blushing so cutely and just begging for a kiss~ You’re so cute! I could eat you~”

It was way too much for him. His heart was beating faster than ever before and he could see the other one coming closer, leaning in, still with that annoying smirk that made his lips look so… so amazing and perfect and he was sure he was pretty close to dying if their lips touched but he couldn’t close his eyes, not now. He was so damn close…

As their lips touched, Byungjoo jolted up on the bed, hitting his head on the ceiling. The pain was everywhere, he couldn’t focus on anything else while holding onto his head and moaning until it went away, little by little. far too slowly for his liking.

The disappointment crashed then on him like cold water. It was only a dream. A freaking dream. It wasn’t even a wet dream, he just dreamed about kissing the other one and thinking back at how me begged made him blush again, ashamed of his own actions. The problem was… it wasn’t the first time it happened. Not at all.

He could still feel everything and he just wanted to die in shame. For those past days - or weeks or months, he had stopped counting… he dreamt about scenarios like this way too much -, it was like he wasn’t even safe in his own dreams. **_He_** was just everywhere! But he couldn’t shut up the nagging on his mind, almost screaming about how it wasn’t enough and judging him - _whose fault is it?_

He had no idea on how to stop, he just hopped no one knew about it - which was… impossible. And to that, the voice just laughed, mocking him in a knowing way. But Byungjoo just wanted to stop. Stop having those dreams about his best friend, the one everyone knew about and loved, the prince of the ToppKlass… But no matter how he tried, Kim Hansol was a parasite. He was everywhere - by his side, always touching him and talking and hugging and wanting to kiss him, giving him gifs, then planting his seed inside his mind, growing from the annoying laughing witch to the… the cute and sexy butterfly prince, and then, as if it wasn’t enough, he decided to take a part of his heart, taking it little by little pieces until it was way too much for Byungjoo. The worse was…  Byungjoo couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad thing. He just knew he wanted more, so much more, but he couldn’t do anything about that. His fears stopped him and he knew that. He just knew.

A warm cup of milk should help, maybe he could go back to sleep since he still had some time until practice (and just maybe it could keep the thoughts of Hansol away for a few more hours but he didn’t believe that - not much, anyway).

Everything was dark on his way to the kitchen, or that was what he thought until he saw a soft light and the blond hair with stripes of blue he knew from the back of his mind. He would never admit he spent maybe a bit too much time looking through twitter accounts and the fansites Hansol had. Never.

A gentle laugh broke him out of his thoughts, making him curious about what the other boy was doing at that time when he should be asleep like everyone else. What had him so excited and smiling like that? And what was that feeling inside Byungjoo’s chest, eating his heart away and making him tremble in… rage?

“H-Hansol? What are you doing? You should sleep, we have to get up early…”

“I know, I know! Go to sleep, I’ll go just… in a bit…”

Byungjoo didn’t know what made his heart and stomach turn up like that. Was it because Hansol didn’t even look at him? It was almost like he didn’t… exist. Why was he smiling at his phone like that? That smile… that smile belonged to Byungjoo! It was only for him for more than two years! So why was he giving that smile not to him but to… to his phone?

“Are you talking to ToppKlass? They should be sleeping, you know? You need to tell them that!” He walked closer to Hansol, trying to see what the other was doing, but Hansol turned the screen away from his sight.

“Nu-uh~ I’m just talking with my friend...” Hansol gave the phone that smile again as a new message popped-up on the screen, making him laugh, his cheeks blooming in a soft pink.

Byungjoo could only stare at him with a small frown on his face. He wanted to know. He was his best friend, he should… he could know… right?

“Won’t you tell me? Come on~ I’m your best friend!” Putting the best puppy eyes and pout he could muster at that hour of the night, he stared at Hansol, his curiosity and that weird feeling growing second by second.

Hansol just looked at him for a brief second and then back to his phone, typing like crazy and grinning. “So? You’re right, you are my best friend, but I also have my own privacy, Byungjoo. But if you’re so curious, I’m talking to Mikey~”

“Oh…” And there was that name again. That guy again. Hansol’s new friend…

“I’ll just… get some milk… you should sleep, Hansol… really” Byungjoo should stop biting his lips or he’ll make them bleed like happened so many times before when he was nervous, but that feeling on the bottom of his stomach was back again and at full force, feeling like acid inside his veins. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey! Everything was about him nowadays!

“Yeah, yeah~ I’ll go in a bit~ I’m just…” hansol stopped talking to laugh, and type back something, completely forgetting about Byunjoo standing some feet from him.

Jealousy. He was was jealous. Byungjoo knew that now, the feeling making him angry and painting his vision in stripes of red, wanting to throw Hansol’s phone out, break it and cut all ways of communication with that… with his _new friend_. But he would never admit that.

He decided against acting on it. It would only raise more questions and he had enough, he just wanted to sleep and forget about everything - about his dream, about his feelings, about Hansol ignoring him and above all, about Hansol’s new and more important friend. Gay friend at that!

So Byungjoo left for his room, the warm cup of milk on his hand. He could only drink it slowly, trying to calm down all the feelings boiling just under his skin.

What were they talking about? What could Mikey possibly say to leave Hansol smiling like that and so excited?

As he laid on the bed again he couldn’t help but think about the last year. What changed? Nothing was different, everything felt the same. Hansol was still Hansol and Jiho was still Jiho… he kept fighting with Jiho and keeping away from Hansol’s far too many demonstrations of affection. But deep down… deep down he knew something was different but he couldn’t just put his finger on what… but he knew… it all changed some months ago.

He couldn’t help but fight away every thought about how Hansol’s not paying as much attention to him and to the fanservice as he did before. It just couldn’t be true. Hansol touched him and hugged him the same amount of times as he did before. If only he could convince himself of that…

Byungjoo snuggled into the covers and closed his eyes, hopping for a few more hours of dreamless sleep. It was cold…

Somehow he felt like it was getting colder these days although the spring was just around the corner and everyone ditched the big jackets…

 

_And the nagging voice wouldn’t shut up. It’s your own fault, it said._


End file.
